Een langzame kerst

When November is around the corner I can always feel myself slowing down. Because come December I truly get time to rest and recuperate. That wasn't always the case. December used to be my busiest month. I would frantically run around getting all kinds of things done. The Christmas shopping for instance. But a few years ago I decided to change my pace and since then every year has become more and more peaceful. With more than enough time for self care. Read on to learn more about how I make this happen!

The main points

Before I get lost in details and handy tips I just want to share that they aren't actually the things that help me have a relaxed final month of the year. I used to focus so much on what my perfect Christmas month would look like. And whatever that is, it is completely unattainable. I wanted to spend hours baking in the kitchen, read 100 books and spend my days enjoying all of the DIY projects I hadn't had time for that year. But even though I had come to understand that doing all of that just wasn't going to happen I still wanted to feel like I had spent my time doing all of those things. I wanted to feel like I was living the very best version of my life.  

What does work?

If you've read any of my blogs before you'll know that I love to take a look at what does work. So instead of trying to create a perfect December (which won't work and will probably never, ever work) I'm going to look at what will work!

Starting small

Years ago this started by changing something small. We can't change that this is a very busy, hectic time of year. And my easily triggered nervous system doesn't really help when it comes to moments like this. So I really needed to take it slower. It did create a chance for me to revisit the situation and look at it from a different perspective. And slowly but surely I was able to make small adjustments. I make sure to take care of all of the presents in November so that in December all I have to do is wrap them. I love wrapping gifts so that brings me great joy! So in December I have a wonderful, cosy moment without all of the added stress. Another small change I've made: I don't need to actually buy Christmas cards. But I do make sure that I check I have enough stamps in November and I check that my addressbook is still correct. That way I can spend all of December enjoying writing my Christmas cards. How great is that?!

Fully experiencing life

What also really helps me is to fully experience each and every season. Including this very special month. I make sure to set up one of my own advent calendars, light my advent candle every day and of course I spend a good amount of hours decorating my tree. These are small things that I consciously make time and space for. I pause for a moment, grab my journal and write something down, draw a card from “messages from the forest” for inspiration, make time to do a jigsaw puzzle, play lots of games and try baking some new recipes.

But that all takes time!

Well yes, it does! But then I glance back at my ideal Christmas season and I decide if something is important to me or not. It's important that I have fun without it all becoming stressful. In the hustle and bustle, I consider what I can postpone and whether things really need to be done right now (I tend to think that everything needs to be done immediately, but often things can be done later). And sometimes it just doesn't work out, which is perfectly fine! Then I'll pick it up again later.

What a change!

Nowadays, I look forward to December, without feeling anxious about whether I will be able to cope or not. I check in with how I'm feeling, set clear boundaries and often give myself space to think, “actually, this task can wait until later”.

Tips

At the start of this blog I promised to share a few good tips that can help you have a slower Christmas season

• Take a moment to think about how you would like to feel during the cosy Christmas season. Don't give up because it's not working (right now), but see what small steps you can take to experience that feeling. Even if it's just for a short moment.
• Make a list of things you enjoy doing to consciously experience the festive season. An advent calendar, cooking, wrapping presents, decorating the Christmas tree or game nights, what's on your list? Can you perhaps plan some of these things (not everything, remember small steps)?
• Planning ahead is not my strong suit and I really had to learn that (and still do), but having presents in the house on time, making appointments and also planning time for myself helps.
  
• Let it go. It doesn't have to be perfect; it's about the little moments. Let go of perfection, choose to slow down, practise self-care and live consciously, because that was part of your ideal picture, right? It's tempting to get caught up in the hustle and bustle, but let it go, you don't have to!
  
• Set boundaries. Do you feel overwhelmed or is it just too much? That's perfectly normal! I've learned that I need to take a break and that I have to arrange that myself. It never works out and there's still a lot to do. But I've also learned that making sure I feel good and stay healthy is actually the most important thing. So I set boundaries, reschedule things and sometimes cancel if necessary. Anything is better than feeling like I'm drowning in all the hustle and bustle, never again.

I wish you a very slow, lovely Christmas (and Sinterklaas) month!

Love,

Esther