The change

There's something different, I've noticed it myself. There's something different in my art, my work, my business. Have you noticed? I think it's because I'm changing. I'm more grounded in the world, I have my PTSD (as far as it goes) under control, I don't push myself as much anymore, and I focus on enjoying life. Yes... and my art...

It changes with me. Have you noticed? Where I used to often want to escape into a pure fantasy world with animals as "human characters" and small figures, I now feel more drawn to painting more "adult" things. Why is that?

Less fear means less hiding

Yes, fear and I go hand in hand. Not always pleasant, but over the past 10 years, I've really found a way to deal with it. I notice that the fear is different because of it—less panic, less overwhelming world, more relaxed. I paint as a kind of therapy; I even started painting because of the creative therapy I received during my treatment! I still do the same thing; I paint what I need, what makes me happy, and what inspires me. But less paralyzing fear, less tendency to hide, and less fear of an overwhelming world means different illustrations. Do you see it?

A new house (and renovation)

Yes, that last one is a bit of a problem, I'm doing really well, but renovating is a major life project! That doesn't really affect my work, but the new place does. I've moved to a different province, away from the busy province of Utrecht, to the wonderful Achterhoek region. The peace and quiet around our house is truly wonderful. When we lived in Zeist, I felt so miserable there; I felt like I had to make myself smaller or fit in with all the hustle and bustle. Because of this feeling, I didn't dare to truly express my love for cottages and cozy living. I was afraid I'd get so bothered by that feeling of not belonging again. And now that's gone! So I'm fully embracing my passion for cottages, coziness, charming houses, gardens, and pre-Christification rituals (hello midwinter horn blowing, Easter bonfires, solstice celebrations, Maypole celebrations, and many more fun things).

Know better what I want to do

Last week I finished my last picture book. My third and final one. I feel I'd rather focus on creating illustrations that suit me better at this moment. I still want to do so many things, and making choices is very important. It took a few years, but I now have a pretty good understanding of what I do and don't want to do. You can only spend your time and energy once! So, no more making things that are "nice," but truly pursuing my passions and personal development. Every YES to a project is a NO to another. Often, this is YES for someone else and NO for something of my own; this is deeply ingrained in my beliefs, and that helps enormously! Because how wonderful it is to be asked for the coolest projects, books, or products, I agree! But the costs can sometimes be high, and you often automatically say NO to a project or passion of your own. By thinking this way and making choices, I also immediately created space to paint, discover, develop, and... you guessed it: change!

A personal style versus freedom

I get asked this question almost weekly: How do I develop my own style? My answer is always the same: you ARE your style. Follow your curiosity, your feelings, your needs and dreams, and visualize them! Do what makes you happy and don't set yourself too strict! That's how I do it too. I sometimes think I'm creating something completely different from the rest, but in reality, it's not that noticeable to outsiders. I used to worry about that sometimes, but I've completely let go. And... that gives me a wonderful feeling of freedom! Creativity is a process that grows with you, develops with you, just like it's happening for me now. Isn't it great? Who knows what's yet to come!

Check out more new stuff here; change is wonderful! (p.s. change also means old things disappear, so sale!). Love!