Cosiness and I - My Story

August 19, 2021

Cozy, warm, cozy, or just cozy? And what is it that I can't stop talking about? It has to do with my illness and happiness.

Es... what is it with you and all that 'cosy stuff'?

I've had PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) for a long time. I can live with it perfectly now and am incredibly happy. And what has helped me a lot... you guessed it? Coziness!

What is cosiness?

Cozy: 'giving a feeling of comfort, warmth, and relaxation'

A feeling of safety, warmth, and relaxation. There's no good word for it in Dutch. The word "knus" (cozy) comes closest.

To me, it means exactly what the British mean: a feeling of warmth, security, safety, and (therefore) relaxation. But how you evoke those feelings is different for everyone.

For me it has a lot to do with tea, candles, blankets, autumn, chocolate, Bram my dog, lovely books, time for myself and of course... my drawings!

My story

PTSD means feeling unsafe and anxious, with all sorts of associated effects (which are different for everyone). For me, it was mainly panic attacks, depression, burnout(s), fits of rage, not being able to trust anyone, and all of that resulted in physical symptoms. For example, I'm hypersensitive to sound, light, and other stimuli. I'm chronically fatigued, and my body responds to everything with a "red flag." My body tenses up, I have muscle pain, headaches, intestinal problems, tremors, and so on.

One morning, when I couldn't get out of bed because I was so tired, it was time to seek help. That was seven years ago, and in those seven years, I've gotten to know myself. It sounds cliché, but it turned out to be the key to where I am today. I know myself, my body, my PTSD, inside and out, so I know exactly how to care for it and what I need.

Cosiness turned out to work

Creating my own world—cozy, safe, full of warmth and softness—turned out to be incredibly important to me. I started with a bullet journal, but instead of writing, I increasingly drew. When I signed up for Instagram, I found so many opportunities there (along with the wonderful Pinterest) to find inspiration and create a comfortable space for myself. Something inside me awakened, was unleashed, and I couldn't stop creating.

And now I'm here. I love painting, drawing, and letting my imagination run wild. I enjoy being an entrepreneur (I don't even allow myself to say "play entrepreneur" anymore). And I'm now able to make many people happy and share their feelings with my cozy creations.

Is the PTSD gone?

No, not at all. I have a very adjusted life, but that doesn't bother me anymore. It doesn't hold me back; I embrace it and make sure I can be the best I can be, with gentleness. That's for sure!