I thought it would be fun to share the stories behind my illustrations again. I'm always quite reserved about that because I primarily want you to feel for yourself what an illustration evokes in you and can do for you. If you want to keep doing that, don't read on. If you're curious about my feelings, thoughts, ideas, and motivations, then definitely read on!
moreIf you've been following me for a while, or have read previous blogs, you know that I primarily draw and paint as a form of therapy. I paint what I need, or what helps me. I paint what I feel, or to explore my feelings and desires. Today, I'll take you behind the scenes of some of my illustrations!
Cosy shelter
Safely sheltering from the bad weather outside. That's what you see, but I feel much more than that! I often feel unsafe, especially now that I'm a bit uprooted by the renovation of our house. Animals are safe for me; people are often scary. That's why you rarely see me painting with lots of people. When I'm feeling really good, I suddenly understand why everyone enjoys being together so much, but my PTSD quickly finds it scary. My ideal moment to recharge, feel safe, and relax is often with animals, alone, in a safe place. No matter what's happening outside, I'm safe inside; I can relax!
Sinterklaas evening
My childhood was hectic and often felt unsafe. But Sinterklaas Eve is a fond memory! For the first time, I've painted a childhood memory. I did adjust it a bit to make it easier on myself emotionally. For example, I don't have a brother or sister, and there were two grandmothers instead of a grandfather. But it was a good development to allow this positive feeling, to work on it, and now I look back on it with a smile. It was so much fun, wasn't it?! That's what comes to mind now, instead of all the fuss and hassle. A victory for me!
Get wood
And after this exciting outing, I quickly painted some self-care. Exactly what makes me feel better. Walking the dogs, fantasizing about all the animals in the forest, and enjoying the beautiful surroundings I live in. And that wood? Well, sometimes it's just so simple. We were busy deciding whether or not to keep a wood stove... haha! It doesn't always have to be therapeutic, philosophical, or complicated, of course!
Okay, that's it for this time. Let me know in the comments if you enjoyed reading this. Then I'll know whether or not I'll make this again.
Lots of love!
Esther
ps. Of course you can also find them in the shop 😉
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