Painting as therapy

Sometimes life feels too big, scares me, or overwhelms me. Anxiety rears its ugly head—hello PTSD! But thankfully, there are also more and more moments when PTSD fades into the background. And the crazy thing is: you can see it clearly in the illustrations I create!

Shrinking versus expanding your circle

I once had a therapist who described it beautifully. When you feel anxious or stressed, you shrink your circle. Think of it as the figurative space around you. You make a shrinking movement; just notice it, it's really true! When you feel good, you feel free, and you expand your circle. You expand your space. You explore, hop, and enjoy. You also connect with others more easily; you allow your larger circle to "contact" someone else's circle.

I've always remembered this little reminder. It makes it easier for me to understand what's happening and identify what I need. The interesting thing is, last week I suddenly realized I do this in my illustrations too!

Painting what I feel

Let's start with a few examples. Below are some illustrations I created while trapped in my own little world. I withdrew and sought safety and security.

I made two of these illustrations on vacation (two different vacations). I'm just now realizing it, but it's true. Vacations are always exciting for me; I enjoy nature and beautiful hikes, but they also tend to trigger anxiety more easily.

Generally speaking, I can say that I paint here purely and solely as therapy. I paint what I need. No drama, just a warm cocoon. I'm often asked why I don't paint certain things (boys, girls, or women with a different skin color, religion, glasses, blond hair, etc.), well, the answer is simple. I don't create to run a business, sell a lot, or make everyone happy. I create for myself, to understand my own feelings.

If my circle is a little bigger

I'm feeling a bit better, maybe still quite tired, but I can handle the (adult) world with the right self-care. I find this blog post very instructive, because suddenly I see this clearly reflected in my own illustrations, haha.

I paint what I need (as always!). But instead of hiding in my magical world, I stay a little more in the real world. I can handle it, I feel good, but I do need this as self-care. Do you see the difference? Or maybe you even feel it?

To be able to handle the world

And sometimes, I feel free, curious, and long for connection or to do new things. I dream of new places, beautiful views, or cozy moments. My circle is large, I have room to move, and I feel I can take on the world.

Enjoyment is central. Often, I discover what I need through painting during this phase. I've lived in a constant state of fear for so long that this is actually a new part of life to discover. Coincidentally, there are three illustrations here with several people together, but that's absolutely not necessary. Perhaps the "splash of fun" at the bottom link most captures the imagination of "enjoyment, relaxation, space, and freedom."

You see, here too I illustrate as a kind of therapy, or journey of discovery.

Have you ever heard of the growing and shrinking circle? What's your circle like right now?