Autumn is in full swing, perhaps the busiest time of year for many people. For me, it certainly is! How do I ensure I can continue to live slowly? That I consciously move with the seasons, take good care of myself, and of course, enjoy all the coziness? In this blog post, I'll share my failed attempts and a few tips that are working for me now!
more Read moreA few misses
Things are incredibly busy at the webshop and everything related to it. I'm incredibly happy with it, but it's always a challenge to figure out how to manage it all without getting ahead of myself. You probably know the feeling! How do I ensure my body doesn't go into overdrive and I can keep working from a place of rest? That I don't trigger a fight, flight, or freeze response, but can be "comfortably" busy from a place of relaxation? I've struggled and learned a great deal over the past few years. Below are the top... things I missed the mark on and that don't work.
-Remembering that things need to be different, because then they'll be better/easier. The worst tip ever for when you're already busy . Something new takes a lot of time, always comes with teething problems, mess, and/or stress. It's better to let things be and plan changes ahead for a calmer period.
-Starting work an hour earlier. A really bad idea, because working more hours isn't the solution for me. It can be done occasionally, but not for months on end.
-Realizing you need help and then wasting a lot of energy and mindspace researching how to get it.
I'm sure you have some additions to this list, right? Now that I'm writing them down, I find it all so silly, but this is what your brain does. You look for solutions, space, and peace, because your body gives you so many signals that you're too busy.
On a different tack
This year, after my "renovation burnout" last year, after a lifetime of struggling with "going too fast," the penny seems to have dropped. I'm doing things completely differently. A few examples:
-I put painting (free work) as high on the weekly to-do list as everything else (I used to let it go when I was busy).
-I plan more self-care moments and rest when I'm busier
I keep a cool head. I could get stressed quite quickly about things going wrong or unexpected events.
What else could be added in your case?
The core
The core of this change runs deep. It's two things. First, I've become much more assertive. I'm a bit of a people-pleaser by nature and want to do everything right (preferably perfectly in some way ;-)). That sets the bar very high for yourself. Sometimes exhaustingly high. Over the years, I've learned that almost nothing is worth losing my health over. No overflowing inbox, no taking on too much work (no matter how much I enjoy it), or setting myself too high standards.
So I've also learned to say no and set boundaries without feeling bad about it. I figure out what I want, what gives me energy, what helps me, and focus on that.
The second thing that helps is somewhat intertwined with the first point, "being assertive," but for me it's very clear that I want to live a peaceful life . I live according to my core values. I've experienced so much in my life, felt so incredibly bad so often, that I don't want that anymore (if I can prevent it). That drive is enormous and acts as a kind of incentive to make different choices. It makes me go for a morning walk in this beautiful autumn instead of ordering new postcards. I know so clearly how I want to live: slowly, at my own pace, enjoying the seasons, connected with the people who are important to me, and expressing myself through painting and spreading coziness into the world.
A list of 'core values' always sounds so abstract, but it still helps me, together with the encouragement of 'I know how things can go wrong', to make different choices.
Is everything always okay now?
Yes, of course! Haha, no, unfortunately. That's not necessary. I still get overwhelmed regularly. Or I have to sit down and write down everything that's going through my head. But it's very different from 'before'. I notice it, adjust (rest), and move on. This feels quite vulnerable. I always feel like I'm the only one struggling with this. I hope this piece is helpful to you, or you recognize things in it? You can always let me know in the comments below; who knows, we might be able to help each other!
PS. The planner is also a huge help! Having a self-care box every day is such a helpful reminder!
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