About uncertainty

About uncertainty

Struggling with insecurity—almost everyone knows it. But what's it like to make your work public as an illustrator, who paints primarily from a therapeutic perspective? What's it like to run a business with that? Sometimes it makes me incredibly insecure, at least.

Public

It's been about six years since I made my Instagram public. There was absolutely nothing on it, except for the occasional photo of Bram (the dog), books I was reading, and the occasional little drawing. I found it incredibly exciting, but at the same time, I knew my "ultra-secluded existence" wasn't enough anymore.

One thing led to another, and now I'm here. I now run a business with my art, I'm out and about in many places, and I'm quite "public." Well, not me per se, but my personal (often therapeutic) illustrations are! So, what's that like?

Scary and Fantastic

Yes, that's it! Terrifying and fantastic! It's great to see that I can make a living from what I create. My greatest pride is that I don't have to do commissioned work and only create what I need. A bit of an autonomous artist, so to speak. And how wonderful it is to hear that I'm helping people with my art, spreading coziness, safety, and warmth! But at the same time, it sometimes feels vulnerable.

I deal with customers, followers, and stores, and everyone has an opinion. That's perfectly fine, of course, but it's hard work to stay comfortable in your own skin.

I really struggle with it sometimes. Insecurity strikes every now and then. Then I'm tempted to consider other people's opinions. I'm afraid that people won't like what I make, that it'll go out of style, that it'll be bad or ugly.

Danger of an 'art block'

That's pretty much the recipe for art block. Luckily, I'm a recluse and a homebody enough to easily shut out the outside world and console myself by creating an illustration that helps me. End of this blog post, you say?

Yet, of course, that feeling is often there. I think it's normal and part of it. Even in "normal" life, everyone feels insecure sometimes, me too (quite a lot). But I do notice it's a constant search. Searching for ways that work for me. For example, I really enjoy blogging, but I let social media discussions slide. I email twice a week; that way, it doesn't get too close to home and I stay balanced. And I do enjoy writing stories, but mainly for fun!

Open and exposed

Open and exposed, absolutely! Would I want it any other way? No! It's also completely in my nature to want to contribute. In my case, I find sharing my personal stories, being open about my health (especially mental health), and the support I receive—being creative and, of course, cozy—very rewarding. But sometimes I feel a little exposed, and that's okay!

Cosiness also helps

What helps with my insecurity? Coziness, of course! Making things cozy, enjoying the little things, slowing down, and feeling safe. Maybe that's why I always manage to push my insecurity to the back of my mind. Because I'm always working on coziness with my business (now), it forces me to live and think very cozy myself!

Could you also use some cosiness and confidence?