Nine and a half years ago, I got sick. After a few years of struggling and research, it became clear what was wrong and... that I had to learn to live with it. It felt like there was a huge bear in the middle of the room that I couldn't avoid. A bear I hated, but that I (whether I wanted to or not) would have to befriend.
moreImagine this: you walk into your room and it's filled with a huge (yes, much bigger than is even possible!) growling, angry brown bear. You want to get past it, you want to get on with your life. You want the bear to go away and never come back! I got you!
But that bear only grows bigger and more hysterical from your attempts to get rid of him. So there's nothing left to do but look him in the eye, sit down with him, and calmly figure out how to interact. Because whether you like it or not, that bear is there, and you have to make the best of it!
A metaphor of course
Recognize this? We all do it. When something doesn't go our way, or when fear rears its ugly head. We want to get rid of it; it has to go. We resist. And that makes things worse. Whether it's anger, fear, feeling unwell, processing bad news, or uncertainty. It's a very natural reaction: "Whatever harms us must go." A nice, primitive reaction from the "primitive brain" (and thankfully, we have these reactions; they're actually useful!).
My bear is roaring again
Yep, my bear screams and roars and puffs himself up. Tapering off my medication hasn't gone well, a (very long) renovation, and missing a cozy little house (because of renovations) have brought back my anxiety, panic attacks, dissociation, confusion... it's all suddenly back. And I don't want it.
But I'll also have to learn to accept that my bear is here. That I'll have to adjust my life a bit now that there's suddenly a bigger bear roaming around. I'll have to be gentle, not blame myself for all this. I'll have to be friends again. And then I can! And so can you!
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Maria Aldiab