The change

Something is different, I notice it myself. There is something different in my art, my work, my business. Have you noticed it? I think it is because I am changing myself, I am more firmly in the world, have my PTSD (as far as it goes) well under control, don't over-question myself so much anymore and focus on enjoying myself. Yes... and my art....

Changes with me. Have you noticed? Whereas before I very often wanted to crawl away into a pure fantasy world with animals as "human characters" and figures that were small, I am now more attracted to painting more "adult" things. Why is that?

Less fear is less hiding

Yes, anxiety and I go hand in hand. Not always fun, but over the past 10 years I've really found a mode of dealing with it. I find that anxiety is different as a result, less panic, a less overwhelming world, more relaxed. I paint as a form of therapy, I even started painting through the creative therapy I went through during my treatment! I still do the same thing, I paint what I need, what makes me happy and what inspires me. But less crippling anxiety, less tendency to crawl away and less fear of an overwhelming world means different illustrations. Do you see it reflected?

A new house (and renovation)

Yes, that last one is a thing, I'm doing very well, but renovating is a big project in your life! That much does not affect my work, but the new place does. I have moved to another province, away from the busy province of Utrecht, to the Achterhoek. The peace and space around our house really does me a lot of good. When we still lived in Zeist I felt so miserable there, I felt as if I had to make myself smaller to fit in between all those crowds or something. This feeling made me afraid to really express my love for cottages, and 'cosy living' properly. Afraid that I would suffer so much from feeling out of place again. And so that's gone now! I'm going all out in my passion for cottages, cosiness, nice gardens and pre-Christian rituals (hello midwinter horn blowing, Easter bonfires, solstices, Maypole celebrations and many more fun things).

Knowing better what I want to do

Last week I delivered my latest picture book to a publisher. My third and final one. I feel I would rather focus on creating illustrations that are more suited to me at this time. I still want to do so many things and making choices is very important. It took a few years, but I have a pretty good grasp now of what I want to do and what I don't want to do. You can only spend your time and energy once! So no more making things that 'are fun', but really going for my passions and development. Every YES to a project is a NO to another project. Often this is YES to another and NO to something of your own; this is somewhere deep in my beliefs and that helps tremendously! Because how nice it is to be asked for the coolest projects, books or products, I agree! But the costs are sometimes high, you yourself often automatically say NO to a project or passion of yours. By thinking this way and making choices, I immediately found room to paint, discover, develop and... you guessed it: change!

One's own style versus freedom

I get the question almost weekly. How do I develop my own style? My answer is always the same: you ARE your style. Follow your curiosity, your feelings, your needs and dreams and imagine that! Do what makes you happy and don't tie yourself down too much! That's how I do it too, I sometimes have the idea that I create something that is totally different from the rest, but in reality to outsiders it doesn't stand out at all. I used to be able to worry about that, but I've completely let it go. And ... that gives a wonderful feeling of freedom! Creativity is a process that grows with you, develops with you, just as is happening with me now. Nice right? Who knows what is yet to come!

Check out more new things here, love that change! (ps. change also means old things disappear, so sale!). Love!