Cosiness and I - My Story
Cosy, warm, cosy or just plain cosy? And what is it that I just can't stop talking about? It has to do with my illness and being happy.
Es.. What is it with you and cosiness?
For a long time I've PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). I'm super happy now and can live with it very well. And what helped me a lot is... you guessed it right! Cosiness!
What is cosiness?
Cosy: 'giving a feeling of comfort, warmth, and relaxation'
A feeling of safety, warmth and relaxation. In Dutch there isn't a accurate word for it. The word 'knus' is most accurate I believe.
For me, cosiness is exactly how the British mean it. A feeling of warmth, shelter, safety and relaxation. Bu how you generate this feeling of cosiness, is different for everyone.
For me, most of the time there is tea, chocolate, blankets, my dog Bram, candles, amazing books and me time involved. And.. of course, my drawings!
My story
PTSD means feeling unsafe, anxious and all the other effect that are coming with it. They are different for everyone. Panic attacks, depressions, burn out(s), anger attacks and not being able to trust anyone were part of my daily life for a long time. A body can't keep up with that, so physical symptoms appeared. I can't handle stimuli like sounds, temperature and light very well and I'm chronically fatigued. Also, my body goed in 'red alert' with every suspicion of stress, which causes muscle pains, headaches, digestive complaints, shaking and other things like this.
One moring, I woke up and wasn't able to get out of my bed anymore. I felt so fatigued. It was time to get help. That's about 7 years ago now and for the past 7 years I got to know myself. It sounds cliché but for me it was the key to being able to live with my PTDS. I know myself, I know my body, I know my PTSD. Therefore I know exactly what I need, what I can (and cannot) do. I know exactly how to take care of myself.
Cosiness was the key
Creating my own world, cosy, safe, warm and full of tenderness turned out to be important to me. I started with a journal, but instead of writing I drew. When I registered on instagram, and pinterest, I found this whole world you can create for yourself. I bloomed and my creativity started to flow.
And now I'm here. I love to draw, paint and let my immagination run to where ever it wants to go. I enjoy being a business owner and I love to make other people happy (and hopefully feeling cosy) with my illustrations.
Is my PTSD gone?
No, unfortunately not. I lead an adjusted life, but I don't care. It won't stop me anymore, I embrace it and I'm being the best version of myself WITH my illness due to taking good care and being gentle with myself.
You and cosy?
What means cosiness for you? How would you describe your cosiness?
More cosiness please!
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Or.. find my shop full of cosiness HERE
cosy bookmarks 
Cosy bestseller set 
Art print Swan Flight
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Dear Esther, thanks again for this cozy Newsletter ans for sharing your story! I would like to write you some words as well.
I had and have similar or same problems and one of the things that help me are drawing, like you can see on my insta under taneabee2020 too. When I went to the doctor, it was a psychologist indeed, because the doctor told me to go there, she told me I would be on the spectrum ( asperger autism), then she bexame pregnant und the new one gave me the diagnosis PTSD AS WELL. ANYWAY, how to deal with? I have a wonderful husband, like you have. And I quitted my job and I think, I life a similar life, unfortunately without an animal at the moment. It important to embrace the situation, and not always easy for my. And I am still learning to allow myself, calling myself an artist and writer. I have written 3 books, but didnt show it to someone... , this feeling not to ve good enough is very strong sometimes. And for about one year I am more into drawing and try to practise myself.
To see you going on and that you share your journey, helps a lot. I wanna say thank you for that!
And of course cozyness meens for me: walks in the nature, tea and cake, books, Sofa, sleeping, sewing, open my little stones and jewellery treasure boxes and just watch them, crocheing, water, bildung little houses out of cardboard and stuff and my pencils... I would love to be able making a new friend here in Emden. But I need a lot of Me-time and my other time is already filled with my husband and to deal with "normal" life. And when someone want to meet me in town or wants to visit me, I'm tired and stressed before it happend... who would accept this? Do you know this too? You dont have to answer, if this is too private. And I know that you need your time as well and you are much more a busines woman than I am. Yes you are.
I wish you all the best and have a beautiful day!
Greetings from Emden, Germany, from Brigitta Brands (taneabee2020)
Hi Brigitta, I know exactly what you mean about visiting friends. It's the same for me, but all my friends know that I need a lot of me time, so I don't speak with them very often (and it's no problem). But if I see them, I'm fully there and love a good chat or walk in the woods. The exhaustion before a friend is here is something I know too, but I try to work on it. Work on my mindset and anxiety is one of the biggest jobs I've done so far, but it paid of the most! If you want a further chat you can always send me an email! Big hug for you! Esther
Hi Brigitta, thank you so much for your heatwarming comment. Although it's hard to read that you sometimes struggle as well of course. I hope some day you feel encouraged enough to show your book(s) to someone! Big hug from me to you!
Thank you for sharing this, Esther! I feel so understood because of your talk about all the symptoms and struggles - and of coziness of course 🙂 I haven't met an understanding doctor so far because none of them have been specialised in PTSD. Because of that it took a while to reach the diagnosis Complex PTSD which is why I'm only now starting with trauma therapy and hopefully it'll help me since I don't know what to do anymore.
Knowing that other people have similar health problems and most importantly have learned how to adapt to them and bloom is such a motivating thought that gives me hope. Looking through your instagram, hanging up your art prints and reading your newsletters is always such a warm and cozy activity 🙂 I'm glad that there are people like you out there!
Kind regards,
Claudia
Hi Esther,
Glad to have discovered your blog. For me, cosiness means being at home with tea, candles, blankets, time to myself, a series or movie, warmth, books and my cats.
I myself am hsp and introvert and have had physical complaints for several years. By now I have got to know myself better and I know what I can and cannot do. Unfortunately, I still sometimes overstep my boundaries. Always a learning moment.
Greetings Claudia
Hey Claudia, sounds lovely your cosiness! I recognise the latter very much, but besides a learning moment, it's always good to retreat and do some 'cosy' to recharge ;-)Love!