A new year: I start with a problem

OK, admittedly, since I have my own business I find it a bit exciting too: a blank new year and no idea yet how it will go in terms of sales (and thus income). But also with new projects, new products and the eternal doubt that people won't get tired of my art one day, haha.

Fine feelings

And yet that doesn't outweigh the pleasant feelings. A whole new year to create new paintings, to develop myself. Both creatively, and as an entrepreneur (and the latter is needed, because I got a bit stuck the last few months, more on that later). 

But also a whole new year to live 'slow', to go hiking, to enjoy traditions, book reading and the seasons. Things I cherish.

I am a firewoman

Now that I am writing this down, I know exactly what I need to pay attention to. I had known it for a few weeks, but had to accept it myself for a while. You see, I have a problem. I am not very good at structure and planning. And sometimes, on the contrary, I am. Do you still get it? 

I can work incredibly productively, focused and structured. I do my email on Mondays and Thursdays, on Mondays I plan the things that 'have to be done' for the rest of the week and that's how I do just fine. And yet I keep getting stuck at this same point. Because I keep losing the overview and (since my business has grown so much) I mostly feel like a firewoman putting out fires to feel calm again. I run from one fire to the next. I always know exactly what is most important to do, the priorities. But if you always only do the much-needed things and never work on a good foundation, it feels a bit tedious in the long run. 

Guilty pleasure

Somehow I love it, being lived a little. Full of action, getting things done. It's my guilty pleasure I'm afraid. And on the other hand, it's exhausting. I also have a kind of fear of letting go of my inner firewoman. As long as I just keep busy I'm fine, but when things get a bit more calm I get upset and lost. Not nice. 

A miracle that anything still succeeds?

I have to laugh a little now, because writing it down like this, it almost seems like a miracle that I am running a business at all. It's not as bad as all that, because it's also just 'growing pains'. When you grow, things start to rub off and you need a different, or bigger, jacket. But growth also makes me fall through with my 'firewives' stuff. That was going super well until that mode no longer suited the size of my business. 

Back to that new year

Change is coming. Making yourself aware of something is the biggest step. For a few months, I had been feeling that I was not quite comfortable in my skin, but couldn't put my finger on it. I only know it to the busyness. It was only in the last week, when I took a rest, that the penny dropped. So it was time for a change. 

Will I still be a firewoman at the end of 2025, or would I describe my function within my company differently then? I have since arranged for help, 5 months of Yvette watching with me and taking a closer look at company structures. Supereng, but a good start I think! 

What about your art?

Well... that's the goal, of course! I really like being an entrepreneur, mind you, but I like painting better. My goal is and always will be: 'to be able to make a living from my free work'. I am incredibly keen to paint, I have 100 more ideas and things I want to try and make. Some more 'cosier' than others. I want to enjoy my creative development and immerse myself in inspiration (which is plentiful).

I am a tree

A new year, a new beginning. It's like in nature. Every year the leaves come back as your tree grows. Every year a new beginning as you grow yourself. 

Exciting? Yes. But I very much believe in change, in facing your fears and taking the leap. Will you jump into a new year with me? 

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Could you use some cosiness for the new year?

Or a helping hand? How about here: