The story of....

I thought it would be nice to share more about my ideas and thoughts behind my illustrations. I am always very reticent about this because I want you to feel for yourself what an illustration evokes in you and can do for you. If you want to keep doing that, don't read on. If you're curious about my feelings, thoughts, ideas and motives, read on!

If you have been following me for a while, or have read previous blogs, you know that I draw and paint mainly as a kind of therapy. I paint what I need, or what helps me. I paint what I feel or to explore my feelings and desires. Today I take you on a behind-the-scenes look at some illustrations!

The bird girl

Last autumn we moved to our new house, we now have a beautiful garden with birds! In early spring, the weather was not really good yet to enjoy the garden and to be outside a lot, but I felt that need!

I wanted to throw open the windows, let the birds in and simply enjoy the moment.

I remember painting this illustration while we had construction workers in the house installing new stairs. So much turmoil around me reflects in my work, longing for peace, being on my own, being in my own bubble for a while.

And that's what you see, in my own bubble, relaxed, present in 'the moment' and really having some time to myself. The way I like it, with tea, creativity, cosiness, a blanket ánd that early spring longing!

The encounter

That moment when you are suddenly face to face with wild animals remains one of my most magical moments in life. That deep connection and feeling of being part of nature (rather than disturbing or startling animals) is something I find very special. You guessed it, right?

The idea for this illustration bubbled up after I experienced such a magical moment. Not as beautiful as this one, just a roe deer in the field, but apparently it was inspiring enough to paint it.

Magic, peace, but also a different way of interacting with nature is what (partly unconsciously) I feel is all in here.

Picking mushrooms

I often feel the need to be alone, I am a purebred introvert! But sometimes, like any introvert, I feel the need for connection. Sisters (which I don't have, mind you, but seems like fun!), girlfriends, family or other forms of togetherness.

Here I also felt the need to be together. I find it hard to be 'with others', I tend to please and can never be 100% myself (except with my husband, of course) because of an attachment disorder. I wish I could be completely myself, like here, in connection with others. Fortunately, I can paint it and I enjoy that immensely!

ps. I also often get such feelings of connection and cosiness after reading books (the Anne of green gable series) or watching TV series (I don't remember for sure, but maybe I was watching gilmore girls here, haha).

OK, that's it for this time. Please let me know in the comments if you enjoyed reading this? Then I'll know if I can share this again or rather not!

With love,


ps. Of course you can also find them in the shop 😉

8 Responses

  1. Wat grappig dat ook jij het liefst alleen bent. Heb ik ook, maar soms voel ik me ook, eenzaam. Dat wijd ik zelf aan het feit dat ik ongeneeslijk ziek ben en niet de dingen kan doen wat ik graag zou willen. Ik ben niet eenzaam hoor, heb man kinderen en ook een zus. Maar die is het tegenovergestelde van mij 🤣. Ik hou enorm van mooie plaatjes kijken waar warmte in zit zoals ik eigenlijk vind dat het leven zou moeten zijn.

    Lieve groet van mij

    1. Hey Marja, plaatjes kijken kan echt helpen vind ik zeg ;-). En alleen zijn is heerlijk, maar zelfs de meeste introverte introvert blijft een ‘mens’ en van nature hebben mensen behoefte aan contact, dus het is altijd een balans zoeken (helemaal als er nog eens moeilijke omstandigheden bij komen). Liefs!

  2. I really enjoy your newsletters, Esther… especially with a cup of tea! I think introverts gravitate toward one another, even though we need our “by ourselves” time 🙂

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